Tugging at my Heart Strings

My life is...full of tears, and wonder and yearning. Full of stress and fear and anxiety. Life isn't ALWAYS worth living. Today, all life is about is money, which is sad, cause there are too many people living with not enough of it, so they won't live their life because of that deficiency. I wish I could go back to the times when everything was innocent, when money wasn't the issue, when I could sleep, and play and not worry about how I'll get anywhere, when my parents weren't fighting, when things were stable, when I knew what fun was, when I didn't worry if I'd make it another day in this world. Life is too much nowadays. As soon as humanly possible I want to get out of here, and get far far away at that. To escape everything that ever hurt me here and start all over. ANYWHERE but here. I can't say I can thank my parents for anything, they've been nothing but rude and inhospitable to me this year, so what thanks do they deserve other than the thanks for letting me live here long enough to meet my very serious boyfriend? They deserve none. So what, you may ask, got me through?


Well you'd never expect it to be a boy, would you? I know, typical of a lonely girl in yet another new town, but this is different. This isn't just a boyfriend situation anymore, this is more, much much more. Patrick Dmitri Mireles, love of my life, my psychologist, my keeper, my life support, the air I breathe and the light I see, the voice in my head that puts me at ease, the arms I run into when I'm scared, when I'm weak, when I can't stand on my own two feet again. He's my EVERYthing. I couldn't leave even if my life depended on it. Most people are brought together because of a crush or acceptance or physical beauty, but this was different, it's deep down inside of me like a magnet inside of me that can't help but to stay attached to the other side, and that's what we have. I can't stand to be away from him, because when I am, everything gets to me, like how lonely I really am, what horrible parents I have, and all the mistakes I've made and all the time I've wasted going through the same things over and over again. It also gives me time to realize what a pointless life I have, sitting at home waiting for another day to come. Waiting for something better to happen, but that day never comes. There's always arguing, there's always crying, there's always the feeling of hopelessness like I'll die before anything even comes close to getting better, before I get the chance to get out of here. But that's what he's for, he's there to reassure me, to put a smile on my face when the world wants to hang me upside down. But he's there, waiting for me, wanting to make me happy and be with me all the time. I don't even deserve half of what he gives me, but that's never stopped him, and all I have to thank for him is heaven. I know things will get better, somewhere far below my skin I believe it, but the wait is so long, I doubt I can make it most of the time. At least I have him though, my saviour, the one man who, to this day, has done all he could for me, through my best and worst. Thank you baby, you're my angel. I love you, always.